My husband Harry, a tech whiz, returns from CES with gadgets that need more TLC than I do. From voice-activated scales to fridge cameras that order groceries, I’m stuck in the dark ages, blissfully keyless and landline-dependent.

The future home, championed by designer Thomas Yang, is no place for a temperature-sensing photoelectric cell or a smart kitchen that scans your milk spoilage. Manual switches are where it’s at—tactile interactions that don’t rely on servers.

While futurist Shelly Palmer dreams of zero-labor homes managed by robots, I’m haunted by tales of robot meltdowns and the potential for tech disasters. The current crop of smart systems is a headache, not a blessing, with frequent outages and security risks that make me feel less like a homeowner and more like a guinea pig.

Even luxury smart systems are often over-engineered and frustrating to manage. As I type this, I’m eyeing the door handle as my ultimate control: simple, timeless, and free from the whims of tech gods.