Just past 6pm on a recent Wednesday night, half a dozen pet owners logged into a Zoom meeting to confess something they’re afraid to talk about in public: they’re fed up with their dogs. The president and cofounder of Dogs Anonymous, Louise Crane, recited the seven acknowledgements participants must agree to. The first: “I admit that life with my dog is not what I imagined.”

Attendees confessed their private shames: a shepherd mix had started engaging in more intense “resource guarding,” a term for when dogs aggressively protect something they value. One woman, who lives in a busy apartment complex, needed advice on how to better handle her dachshund’s constant barking at strangers. Sessions are held weekly and span first-time and experienced dog owners, adopters, foster caregivers, and occasionally trainers seeking tips on how to work aggression cases.

The founders say the effectiveness of the group doesn’t stem from the advice they impart during meetings but comes from members bonding over shared struggles. “The magic of AA the community is that you are going through something that somebody else has either been through or they’re going through the same thing,” Crane adds.

No Dogs Anonymous meeting is the same. Some weeks attendees might discuss what it’s like dealing with their dog’s anxiety issues or ask for advice about going through the euthanasia process. Other weeks, they might vent about life. “The other day we were talking about random things that our dogs had pooped,” Mendoza-Tervanis says. “It was a lot of money and tampons.”

Unlike other support groups for owners of dogs with behavioral challenges, DA prioritizes the owner first. “Why we’re in the problem that we are right now is because we are putting dogs before people,” says Mendoza-Tervanis, who has worked in pet care for 15 years.