In a scathing order, Judge Lewis Kaplan has denied Sam Bankman-Fried's request for a new trial, accusing the former FTX founder of wasting precious judicial resources on wild theories.

Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison in 2024 for orchestrating one of the largest financial frauds in American history. He claimed that there were ‘newly discovered’ witnesses and evidence, but Kaplan dismissed these as old hat, noting that all three witnesses he cited were known throughout the trial.

The judge emphasized that granting Bankman-Fried's request would be a “large waste of judicial resources,” adding that it could require another judge to familiarize themselves with an ‘extensive and complicated record.’ He also pointed out that one witness, Ryan Salame, who pleaded guilty, had made self-serving social-media posts claiming he lied under oath.

Kaplan concluded by deeming Salame’s credibility highly questionable, stating: 'If one were to take Salame at his current word, he lied under oath when pleading guilty before this Court.' The judge emphasized that even if taken seriously, any statements from Salame ‘could not come anywhere close to clearing the bar’ for a new trial.

The case highlights the importance of due process and the risks of wasting judicial resources on unfounded theories. Bankman-Fried’s antics could serve as a cautionary tale for those tempted to use courtrooms for personal gain or political theatre.